Buy more stock in roses
Millionaires will always woo
Don't be shocked if roses
make a millionaire of you

2. Love is Like Jazz

Love is like jazz
You make it up as you go along
and you act as
if you really knew the song
but you don't
and you never will
so you flaunt your mistakes
and you make them until
they were you
Love is like jazz
the same song a million times
in different ways
"Strange Fruit" with
and without wind chimes
It's divine
It's asinine
It's depressing
and it's almost entirely
window dressing
but it'll do

3. When My Boy Walks Down the Street

Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet
Amazing  he's a whole new form of life
blue eyes blazing  and he's going to be my wife
The world does the hula-hula when my boy walks down the street
Everyone thinks he's Petula so big and yet so petite
Butterflies turn into people when my boy walks down the street
Maybe he should be illegal  He just makes life too complete...
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories
Oh, things that he brings that he found in the sea
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories of songs
Oh, how could he know that it won't be long...

4. Time Enough for Rocking When We're Old

There'll be time enough for rocking when we're old
We can rock all day in rocking chairs of gold
but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing
There'll be time enough for rocking when we're old, my love
There'll be time enough for talk in the nursing home
Darling, time enough to write an epic poem
but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing
There'll be time enough for talking in the home, my love
There'll be time enough for sleeping when we're dead
You will have a velvet pillow for your head
but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing
There'll be time enough for sleeping when we're dead, my love
There'll be time enough for sex and drugs in Heaven
when our pheromones are turned up to 11
but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing
There'll be time enough for sex and drugs in Heaven, my love
and time enough for rocking when we're old

5. Very Funny

Everybody knows but me
when you go where you shouldn't be
Everybody knows but me
where you go when you're feeling free
Everybody knows but me
So you go there for a laugh
You just go to take photographs
To believe that, I'd be daft
but yes I think you go for a laugh
And you say, I love you honey
Very funny

6. Grand Canyon

If I was the Grand Canyon
I'd echo everything you say
but I'm just me
I'm only me
and you used to love me that way
so you know how to love me that way
If I was Paul Bunyan
I'd carry you so far away
but I'm just me
I'm only me
and you used to love me that way
so you know how to love me that way...

7. No One Will Ever Love You

If you don't mind why don't you mind
Where is your sense of indignation
You are too kind  Much too kind
Where is the madness that you promised me
Where is the dream for which I paid dearly
When things go wrong I sing along
It is the nature of the business
But you're not here to make my sad songs more sincere
No one will ever love you honestly
No one will ever love you for your honesty
No one will ever love you honestly
No one will ever love you for your honesty

8. If You Don't Cry

Softly the crystals falling on 17th Street
do their dance and die and are gone
Millions of crystal balls roll around your feet
and nothing gets done
An hour goes by
She doesn't
If you don't cry it isn't love
If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough
Dying all day in thousands of little ways
Dancing alone and drinking a lot
Closing the clubs and haunting the cabarets
looking for what
Another five years off your life...
A year goes by
She doesn't...

9. You're My Only Home

I will stay if you let me stay
and I'll go if you let me go
but I won't go far away
because you're my only home
I will hide what you want hidden
and I'll roam if you say roam
but I'd just as soon you didn't
because you're my only home
When you cancel dinner plans
When you cross the street
and you don't take my hand
When you make impossible demands
I wish I didn't understand, but...

10. (Crazy for You But) Not That Crazy

I built a ship with my own hands
to take us to the moon
I took a pen in my own hand
and wrote you a hundred tunes
now I'm crazy for you but not that crazy
I pretended you were Jesus
you were just dying to save me
I stood beneath your window
with my ukulele
I made my yard a playground
just in case we had a baby
now I'm crazy for you but not that crazy
I treated you like radium
I treated you like God
You were my glass menagerie
Did you not find that odd
I dwelt within and went without
and broke my virgin flesh
I performed acts of devotion
as if you were Ganesh, but
now I'm crazy for you but not that crazy
I'm crazy for you but not that crazy

11. My Only Friend

Billie you're a miracle
and God knows I need one
Sing me something terrible
that even dawn may come
You and me, we don't believe
in happy endings
Hey, Lady Day,
can you save my life this time
Can you cry so beautifully
you make my troubles rhyme
Hey, Lady Day,
can you save my life again
My only love has gone away
Will you be my only friend
Billie you're a genius
enough to be a fool
a fool to gamble everything
and never know the rules
Some of us can only live
in songs of love and trouble
Some of us can only live in bubbles...

12. Promises of Eternity

What if the show couldn't go on
What if we all got jobs
and got to bed before dawn
What if Old Joe had to retire
What if all the stage hands were let go or fired
That's just like what the world would be
If you fell out of love with me
I can't let this happen to you
Don't you let it happen to me
What would our friends and family say
if they could only see
If you let this happen to us
don't think you'd be setting me free
Wasn't it you and I who made
promises of eternity
What if the lights didn't go on
What if the velvet curtain
had to be taken down
What if the clowns couldn't be clowns
and all those painted smiles
gave in to plaintive frowns
What if no show ever happened again
No Seven, no 8 1/2, no Nine, and no "10"
All numbers and no mystery
No promise of eternity...

13. World Love

When the rhythm calls the government falls
Here come the cops
From Tokyo to Soweto
viva la musica pop
We are black & white and we dance all night
down at the hop
and the letters were tall on the Berlin Wall
viva la musica pop
So if you're feeling low
stuck in some bardo
I, even I know the solution
love, music, wine and revolution
love, love, love, music, wine and revolution
This too shall pass so raise your glass
to change and chance
and freedom is the only law
shall we dance...

14. Washington, D.C.

W! ASH! ING! TON, baby, D.C.!
W! ASH! ING! TON, baby, D.C.!
Washington, D.C., it's paradise to me
It's not because it is the grand old seat
of precious freedom and democracy
no no no
It's no the greenery turning gold in fall
the scenery circling the Mall
It's just that's where my baby lives, that's all
Washington, D.C., it's the greatest place to be
It's not the cherries everywhere in bloom
It's not the way they put folks on the Moon,
no no no
It's not the spectacles and pageantry
the thousand things you've got to see
It's just that's where my baby waits for me
W! ASH! ING! TON, baby, D.C.!
W! ASH! ING! TON, baby, D.C.!
Washington, D.C., it fits me to a T
It's not the people doing something real
It's not the way the springtime makes you feel
no no no
It ain't no famous name on a golden plaque
that makes me ride that railroad track
It's my baby's kiss that keeps me coming back
It's my baby's kiss that keeps me coming back

15. Long-Forgotten Fairytale

If someone told me you'd be here
whispering these familiar things
talking to my little pets
smoking the same old cigarettes
I would have laughed
I saw you last in summertime
You said you hated long goodbyes
You said there's nothing to explain
in every life a little rain
et cetera
And a long-forgotten fairytale
is in your eyes again
and I'm caught inside a dream world
where the colors are too intense
and nothing is making sense
There's a floating town of eiderdown
in a mist of mystery
There's an old enchanted castle
and the princess there is me
decked out like a Christmas tree
I guess you've had your little joke
but I have lost my sense of humor
My medication's wearing off
or it's just not strong enough
to cover this
and then you kiss me like before
and I find myself wanting more
and you tell that little lie
that kept me hypnotized:
another kiss...
If someone told me I'd succumb,
if someone said I'd be so dumb
after all the sleepless nights
when I turned on all the lights
I would have hit them
but I have turned the other cheek
My voice trembles, my knees are weak
and you beat me once again
and I know what happens then:
you raise the ante:

16. Kiss Me Like You Mean It

He is my lord, He is my saviour
and He rewards my good behavior
My secret soul, I know He's seen it
He says, come here baby and kiss me like you mean it
He calls me baby, says kiss me like you mean it
He is my light and salvation
He's always right, He's always patient
I pinch myself  It's like I'm dreaming it
He is my love, He's always been it...

17. Papa Was a Rodeo

I like your twisted point of view, Mike
I like your questioning eyebrows
You've made it pretty clear what you like
It's only fair to tell you now
that I leave early in the morning
and I won't be back till next year
I see that kiss-me pucker forming
but maybe you should plug it with a beer
cause Papa was a rodeo
Mama was a rock'n'roll band
I could play guitar and rope a steer
before I learned to stand
Home was anywhere with diesel gas
Love was a trucker's hand
Never stuck around long enough
for a one-night stand
Before you kiss me you should know
Papa was a rodeo
The light reflecting off the mirror ball
looks like a thousand swirling eyes
They make me think I shouldn't be here at all
You know, every minute someone dies
What are we doing in this dive bar
How can you live in a place like this
Why don't you just get into my car
and I'll take you away  I'll take that kiss now, but...
And now it's 55 years later
We've had the romance of the century
After all these years wrestling gators
I still feel like crying when I think of what you said to me...
What a coincidence, your Papa was a rodeo too

18. Epitaph for My Heart

"Caution: to prevent electric shock
do not remove cover
No user-serviceable parts inside
Refer servicing to qualified
service personnel"
Let this be the epitaph for my heart
Cupid put too much poison in the dart
This is the epitaph for my heart
because it's gone, gone, gone
and life goes on and on anon
and death goes on, world without end
and you're not my friend
Who will mourn the passing of my heart
Will its little droppings climb the pop chart
Who'll take its ashes and, singing, fling
them from the top of the Brill Building
And life goes on, and dawn, and dawn
and death goes on, world without end
and you're not my friend

19. Asleep and Dreaming

I've seen you laugh at nothing at all
I've seen you sadly weeping
The sweetest thing I ever saw
was you asleep and dreaming
I've seen you when your ship came in
and when your train was leaving
The sweetest thing I ever saw
was you asleep and dreaming
Well you may not be beautiful
but it's not for me to judge
I don't know if you're beautiful
because I love you too much...

20. The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing

So the sun goes down and the world goes dancing
and the stars come out and they all go dancing
and there is nothing I'd like more
than a twirl across this rickety old floor
Well I don't know why but I just feel like dancing
I can't imagine why but I feel like dancing
and there is nothing in this world
that I'd like better than a twirl
across your rickety old floor
Maybe it's you
You know your eyes are awful blue
Maybe it's more
Maybe you're all I've ever waited for
after all the endless nights
when I wished I could still cry...

21. The Way You Say Good-Night

So faraway and so alone
how could I ever take you home
You're beautiful, beautiful
You've a got a devastating point of view
and everything you say is true
You're beautiful, beautiful
The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"
The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song
and the moon begins to sing
I kiss you and the sun goes down
How come it's always dark when you're around
You're beautiful, beautiful
The nightbirds sing their favorite song
The moon begins to sing
You're beautiful, beautiful
The stars begin their Busby Berkeley dance:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"
and the night becomes a musical extravaganza:
The Way You Say Good-Night
The way you say good-night
I dream of all day long
Oh, I could write a song about the way you say good-night...

22. Abigail, Belle of Kilronan

Abigail
can you feel my heart in the palm of your hand
and do you understand why I can't stay
Abigail
and evil wind is blowing through the land
and they need every man to drive it away
When I come home if I come home
you'll be a grown woman
When I come home if I come home
don't be alone,
Abigail, belle of Kilronan
Abigail
's gonna be the beauty of County Galway
and she will live always in a world of love
Abigail
I'm off to the war but you can be sure
I will know you're what I'm fighting for

23. I Shatter

Bang there was you
too gold too blue
You told the truth.
I cried.  You flew.
You called me mad (and I am mad)
as a hatter
Some fall in love
I shatter
You make it rain.
Too bleak, too stark.
Should night not fall
you make things dark...
Bang here am I
No one nowhere
no ground no sky
no light no air...