Love at the Bottom of the Sea
1. God Wants Us to Wait
2. Andrew in Drag
3. Your Girlfriend's Face
4. Born for Love
5. I'd Go Anywhere with Hugh
6. Infatuation (with Your Gyration)
7. The Only Boy in Town
8. The Machine in Your Hand
9. Goin' Back to the Country
10. I've Run Away to Join the Fairies
11. The Horrible Party
12. My Husband's Pied-a-Terre
13. I Don't Like Your Tone
14. Quick!
15. All She Cares About Is Mariachi


Em:022000    G:320033            D:x00232     A:002220
   I think I know what you would like us to do
When we have children let's have 72
Until then we must be resigned to our fate
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait

I guess it's true I should have told you before
And not have waited 'til we're nude on the floor
Though it would be the perfect end to our date
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait

Now you might like to kiss the dew on my hem
But when male and female created He them
Our Lord intended us forever to mate
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait

Despite my beauty, and the scent of jasmine
Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin?
Although it may not be a crime in our state
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait

How much more wonderful to anticipate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait.


  C:032010                                    Am:002210
A pity she does not exist, a shame he's not a fag

    C                          F:133211 G:320033  C
The only girl I ever loved was Andrew   in    drag
There is no hope of love for me, from here on I go stag
The only girl I'll ever love is Andrew in drag

           F  C  G           G7:320001
Andrew in drag,  Andrew in drag

           F  C  G
Andrew in drag,  yeah!

I don't know why I even went, it's really not my bag
Just thought it might be funny to see Andrew in drag
The moment he walked on that stage my tail began to wag
Wag, like a little wiener dog, for Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, yeah!

I've always been a ladies' man and I don't have to brag
But I've become a mama's boy for Andrew in drag
I'd sign away my trust fund, I would even sell the Jag
If I could spend my misspent youth with Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, yeah!

So stick him in a dress and he's the only boy I'd shag
The only boy I'd anything is Andrew in drag
I'll never see that girl again, he did it as a gag
I'll pine away forevermore for Andrew in drag.


        Ab:466544  Db:446664  Eb:668886  Ab
So I've taken a    contract   out   on   you

       Ab      Db         Eb           Fm:133111
I have hired a hit man to do what they do

He will do his best to do his worst

Ab         Db             Eb         Ab
After he's messed up your girlfriend first

             Fm          Bb
I said he'll do his worst
To your girlfriend first

'Cause I've hired the fixer for her too
For stealing my lover and making me blue
They'll have to hose off your trysting place
After he blows off your girlfriend's face

I want the whole bloody place
Red with your girlfriend's face

So I've taken a contract out on y'all
For making me feel infinitely small
In the evenings I've devised your death:
Being buried alive on crystal meth

Baby, I give you death
Bye-bye by crystal meth...


E:022100                D:x00232  A:002220
Hey, little cutie I was born for  love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one unicorn for love

      D     A                E       B:224442
But I won't mind if you just take me home

Hey, little darlin' I was made for love
Got down on my knees and I prayed for love
Crawled from Tonga to Adelaide for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home

  D                           A       E
I know you've been lonely and misunderstood
But I'm yours for the asking for now or for good
If you want me to leave you just give me a shove

        D       A           E        B
But you won't because I was born for love

Hey, little cutie I was born for love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one mean unicorn for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home


INTRO: C:032010  Em:022000  F:133211  G:320033

C                      Em
  I'd go anywhere with Hugh

F                        C      G
  Hugh's the kind of boy I take to

F           Am:002210  G    G7:320001
  Mother of God! If he only knew!

G                      C  Em  F  G
  I'd go anywhere with Hugh

I'd do anything for him
Sacre bleu! When the lights are dim
I'd entertain each and every whim
I'd do anything for him

C      F                    G
I love Hugh and Hugh loves you

F        C       F       G
You love me, and he does not

  C          F                    G
I don't love you, you don't love Hugh

C      G      D:x00232
What a sad gavotte!

Hugh'd go anywhere with you
Hugh would take you to Timbuktu
You would do anything for me.  Who,
Me? I'd go anywhere with Hugh.

                      C  Em  F  G
Who'd do anything for you
Who'd go anywhere with... Who,
Me? I'd do anything for Hugh,
He who'd go anywhere with you.


D:x00232     F:133211

C:032010            G:320033
  With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm
Infatuated with you

D              Bb:113331
Bumping to the thumping

F              C
Jumping to the pumping

D              Bb        F          C
Leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor

Thumping to the bumping
Pumping to the jumping
Beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor...


       G:320033  D:x00232     C:032010  D      G
Oh, if only      you were the only      boy in town

    G                         C                 D
For then I could not play the field and let you down

        Em:022000           A:002220
I would not go half-mad for each passing lad

     Bm:224432                     C
With eyes of blue, green, gray, or brown

       G    D            C    D      G
No, if only you were the only boy in town

Oh, if only you were the only boy in France
Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
I think I would endeavor to love you forever
Instead of only for the nonce
If, if only you were the only boy in France

With the only boy in town

         G              D
With the only available male

In the loneliest possible world

            G             D
There would be no daily betrayal

Oh, if only you were the only boy alive
And I were the queen of our small, small, small beehive
Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
Would they take up all my sex drive?
Not, not, not if you were the only boy alive

Oh, if only you were the only boy in town
Oh, if only you were the only boy in France!


D:x00232    F:133211   C:03201       D:x00232
  I want to be the machine in your hand

    F      C         G
And go wherever you go

Your every touch would be my command
And I wouldn't be so slow
We'd be together in Wonderland
And I'd light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand
And go wherever you go

  I don't know why I love you

You're not really a person

                   F          Bb:113331
More a gadget with meat stuck to it

I see less and less of you
As you worsen and worsen
I think you're disappearing through it

Eb:668886             G            C
No doubt you're just ahead of the curve

Eb               G          C
I only wish that I had the nerve to say...

You can hold me for hours
Wouldn't that be terrific?
We can feel our connection growing
I'll have magical powers
Only they're scientific
You and I will become all-knowing
Such a machine: what would it be worth?
Stick with me, kid, we'll conquer the earth...


    G:320033          C:032010
I'm goin' back to the country

    G               C
The city life's too slow

    F:133211      C      G        C  G
I'm sick of that 120 BPM funk and disco

I'm doin' a 180
Break out the fiddle tunes
I'm still that barefoot lady howling up at full moons

              G             C
And I'm gonna fly back to Wyoming

    F             C                  G
And nevermore, my friends, I'll go a-roaming

I'm gonna fly back to Laramie
Let Laramie take care of me till they bury me

I'm goin' back to the country
The big city's too small
I don't need more than one treehouse but there's none at all
I'm hanging up a tire swing
A hammock in the yard
I'll hear an angel choir sing as I wing countryward

And I'm gonna find me a country boy
And have a couple country kids, LeAnn and LeRoi
And we're gonna wind down those country roads
And sing and play the dulcimer till this world explodes


Am:002210   Dm:x00231       Am
  I've run away to join the fairies

Dm                            Am
  This mortal world has lost its charms

C:032010                     G:320033
  I'll be a flower for their garden

F:133211   E:022100       Am
  Never to hold you in my arms

They will enchant me and enslave me
And make of me their fool for fun
Upon my head they'll place an ass's
More or less as you've always done

A:002220                     E
  I loved you like I was your baby

C                           G
 Although you couldn't even fly

F#:244322                         E
  And though you held no eldritch secrets

F          E                  Am
 All too enthralled to you was I

In yonder forest grows a toadstool
To make the mind of Man grow small
They will mistake me for their changeling
I wasn't human after all


    A:002220               D:x00232
Oh, take me away from this horrible party

    A                  E:022100
And let me get home to Mother

A                          D
Don't make me stay at this horrible party, I'll

A            E
never go to another

G:320032                                        D    A
People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes

E                                                  D   A
Many are sprawled on divans, painting each others' toes

G                                              D   A
Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose

E                                      D                E
The player piano is tinkling "Anything Goes" again and again

Deliver me from this horrible party
And I will give you some money
Why, why are we at this horrible party
And I don't see what's so funny?

Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles
People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
And "Anything Goes" goes again--have they no other rolls?

G                                                   D   A
Some plastic surgeon's done horrible things to poor Jane

E                                          D   A
Making her t'riffically popular--men are insane--

G                                           D   A
"Anything Goes" is the motto, and endless refrain

   E                      A                       D
My dear, it was heaven, until they ran out of champagne.


  I know of a groovy place

Am                          Dm:x00231
  Where every girl of every race,

age, and bra size, and I.Q.

  Goes when she feels broke or blue

  It's a place more women stay

Am            Dm
  Than the YWCA

Go there once, you get the key

Am        Em:022000
  So every girl's been there... but... me...

Am        C:032010 F:133211 Em
Where's a minx get minks to wear?

Dm      F         Em     Am
Why, my husband's pied-à-terre!

Am     C           F            Em
In two drinks, you think she'll care?

Dm        F         Em     Am
That's my husband's pied-à-terre

C     G:320033     D:x00232
Every alley cat in town

F        C         G       D
Knows my husband's flat in town

Better get your derriere
To my husband's pied-à-terre
Love is in the very air
Of my husband's pied-à-terre

I understand the latest fad
'S my husband's bachelor pad

All the classes mingle there
At my husband's pied-à-terre
There is not one single chair
In my husband's pied-à-terre

When I Boeing this loony bin
I am going to do him in


INTRO: C:032010 B:113331 C B C B C B

    C                  D:x00232
You sigh that I should try your love

     C         Am:002210
I'll never be alone

     C                D
That you are true you coo, my dove,

    C       B       C   B   C   B   C   B
But I don't like your tone

You were, you murmur further, just
a child, but now you're grown
You hiss that this is bliss--not lust--
But I don't like your tone

F:133211        G:320033
What's with all this purring?

Are you a cat?

Why are we whispering?

                G   F   Em:022000   G
Love's not like that

When near my ear how clear you make
Your so-called feelings known
It's queer, my dear: I fear heartbreak
But I don't like your tone

14. QUICK!

You'd better think of something, quick,

         G:320033        D:x00232  A:002220
Before I don't love you no   more

                G            D    A
Quick, before I walk out that door

                 G          D     A
Quick, before it all ends in jeers

What a waste of all those beers

You'd better think of something, quick,
Because my suitcase is packed
Quick, because I'm through being attacked
Are you really prepared to lose
All this, just to air your views?

We're on the brink of something
Get me a drink of something, quick,
Between your outrageous remarks
Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
Quick, before you can't take that back
Just before it all goes black

You'd better think of something, quick,

           G            D      A
Before the midnight bell chimes

                 G        D     A
You're living in dangerous times

               G        D    A
Torture me for your amusement

                          G  D  A
Ah, but who will pay the rent?

                  G  D  A
Who will pay the rent?...


    G:320033                          D:x00232
You want to light your flame in her hibachi

Well, brother, I can tell you in advance

That all she cares about is mariachi

And all she ever wants to do is dance

Go there and wear your hair like Liberace
Go air some freakish fragrance fresh from France
Friend, all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance

So go ahead and hire Saatchi & Saatchi
To advertise the sausage in your pants
But all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance.

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