Em:022000
G:320033
D:x00232 A:002220
I think I know what you would like us to do
When we have children let's have 72
Until then we must be resigned to our fate
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait
I guess it's true I should have told you before
And not have waited 'til we're nude on the floor
Though it would be the perfect end to our date
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait
Now you might like to kiss the dew on my hem
But when male and female created He them
Our Lord intended us forever to mate
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait
Despite my beauty, and the scent of jasmine
Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin?
Although it may not be a crime in our state
I love you baby, but God wants us to wait
How much more wonderful to anticipate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait.
C:032010
Am:002210
A pity she does not exist, a shame he's not a fag
C
F:133211 G:320033 C
The only girl I ever loved was Andrew in
drag
There is no hope of love for me, from here on I go stag
The only girl I'll ever love is Andrew in drag
F
C G
G7:320001
Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
F
C G
Andrew in drag, yeah!
I don't know why I even went, it's really not my bag
Just thought it might be funny to see Andrew in drag
The moment he walked on that stage my tail began to wag
Wag, like a little wiener dog, for Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, yeah!
I've always been a ladies' man and I don't have to brag
But I've become a mama's boy for Andrew in drag
I'd sign away my trust fund, I would even sell the Jag
If I could spend my misspent youth with Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, yeah!
So stick him in a dress and he's the only boy I'd shag
The only boy I'd anything is Andrew in drag
I'll never see that girl again, he did it as a gag
I'll pine away forevermore for Andrew in drag.
3. YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FACE
Ab:466544 Db:446664
Eb:668886 Ab
So I've taken a contract out on
you
Ab
Db
Eb Fm:133111
I have hired a hit man to do what they do
Bb:113331
He will do his best to do his worst
Ab
Db
Eb Ab
After he's messed up your girlfriend first
Fm Bb
I said he'll do his worst
To your girlfriend first
'Cause I've hired the fixer for her too
For stealing my lover and making me blue
They'll have to hose off your trysting place
After he blows off your girlfriend's face
I want the whole bloody place
Red with your girlfriend's face
So I've taken a contract out on y'all
For making me feel infinitely small
In the evenings I've devised your death:
Being buried alive on crystal meth
Baby, I give you death
Bye-bye by crystal meth...
4. BORN FOR LOVE
E:022100
D:x00232 A:002220
Hey, little cutie I was born for love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one unicorn for love
D
A
E B:224442
But I won't mind if you just take me home
Hey, little darlin' I was made for love
Got down on my knees and I prayed for love
Crawled from Tonga to Adelaide for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home
D
A E
I know you've been lonely and misunderstood
But I'm yours for the asking for now or for good
If you want me to leave you just give me a shove
D
A
E B
But you won't because I was born for love
Hey, little cutie I was born for love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one mean unicorn for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home
5. I'D GO ANYWHERE WITH
HUGH
INTRO: C:032010 Em:022000 F:133211 G:320033
C
Em
I'd go anywhere with Hugh
F
C G
Hugh's the kind of boy I take to
F
Am:002210 G G7:320001
Mother of God! If he only knew!
G
C Em F G
I'd go anywhere with Hugh
I'd do anything for him
Sacre bleu! When the lights are dim
I'd entertain each and every whim
I'd do anything for him
C
F
G
I love Hugh and Hugh loves you
F
C
F G
You love me, and he does not
C
F
G
I don't love you, you don't love Hugh
C G D:x00232
What a sad gavotte!
Hugh'd go anywhere with you
Hugh would take you to Timbuktu
You would do anything for me. Who,
Me? I'd go anywhere with Hugh.
C Em F G
Who'd do anything for you
Who'd go anywhere with... Who,
Me? I'd do anything for Hugh,
He who'd go anywhere with you.
6. INFATUATION (WITH YOUR
GYRATION)
D:x00232 F:133211
Infatuation
C:032010
G:320033
With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm
Infatuated with you
D
Bb:113331
Bumping to the thumping
F
C
Jumping to the pumping
D
Bb
F C
Leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor
Thumping to the bumping
Pumping to the jumping
Beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor...
7. THE ONLY BOY IN TOWN
G:320033
D:x00232 C:032010
D G
Oh, if only you were the
only boy in town
G
C
D
For then I could not play the field and let you down
Em:022000
A:002220
I would not go half-mad for each passing lad
Bm:224432
C
With eyes of blue, green, gray, or brown
G
D
C D G
No, if only you were the only boy in town
Oh, if only you were the only boy in France
Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
I think I would endeavor to love you forever
Instead of only for the nonce
If, if only you were the only boy in France
C
With the only boy in town
G
D
With the only available male
C
In the loneliest possible world
G
D
There would be no daily betrayal
Oh, if only you were the only boy alive
And I were the queen of our small, small, small beehive
Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
Would they take up all my sex drive?
Not, not, not if you were the only boy alive
Oh, if only you were the only boy in town
Oh, if only you were the only boy in France!
8. THE MACHINE IN YOUR
HAND
D:x00232 F:133211
C:03201 D:x00232
I want to be the machine in your hand
F
C G
And go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command
And I wouldn't be so slow
We'd be together in Wonderland
And I'd light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand
And go wherever you go
G
I don't know why I love you
C
You're not really a person
F Bb:113331
More a gadget with meat stuck to it
I see less and less of you
As you worsen and worsen
I think you're disappearing through it
Eb:668886
G C
No doubt you're just ahead of the curve
Eb
G C
I only wish that I had the nerve to say...
You can hold me for hours
Wouldn't that be terrific?
We can feel our connection growing
I'll have magical powers
Only they're scientific
You and I will become all-knowing
Such a machine: what would it be worth?
Stick with me, kid, we'll conquer the earth...
9. GOIN' BACK TO THE
COUNTRY
G:320033 C:032010
I'm goin' back to the country
G
C
The city life's too slow
F:133211
C
G C G
I'm sick of that 120 BPM funk and disco
I'm doin' a 180
Break out the fiddle tunes
I'm still that barefoot lady howling up at full moons
G
C
And I'm gonna fly back to Wyoming
F
C
G
And nevermore, my friends, I'll go a-roaming
I'm gonna fly back to Laramie
Let Laramie take care of me till they bury me
I'm goin' back to the country
The big city's too small
I don't need more than one treehouse but there's none at all
I'm hanging up a tire swing
A hammock in the yard
I'll hear an angel choir sing as I wing countryward
And I'm gonna find me a country boy
And have a couple country kids, LeAnn and LeRoi
And we're gonna wind down those country roads
And sing and play the dulcimer till this world explodes
10. I'VE RUN AWAY TO
JOIN THE FAIRIES
Am:002210 Dm:x00231 Am
I've run away to join the fairies
Dm
Am
This mortal world has lost its charms
C:032010
G:320033
I'll be a flower for their garden
F:133211 E:022100 Am
Never to hold you in my arms
They will enchant me and enslave me
And make of me their fool for fun
Upon my head they'll place an ass's
More or less as you've always done
A:002220
E
I loved you like I was your baby
C
G
Although you couldn't even fly
F#:244322
E
And though you held no eldritch secrets
F
E
Am
All too enthralled to you was I
In yonder forest grows a toadstool
To make the mind of Man grow small
They will mistake me for their changeling
I wasn't human after all
11. THE HORRIBLE PARTY
A:002220
D:x00232
Oh, take me away from this horrible party
A
E:022100
And let me get home to Mother
A
D
Don't make me stay at this horrible party, I'll
A E
never go to another
G:320032
D A
People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
E
D A
Many are sprawled on divans, painting each others' toes
G
D A
Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
E
D
E
The player piano is tinkling "Anything Goes" again and again
Deliver me from this horrible party
And I will give you some money
Why, why are we at this horrible party
And I don't see what's so funny?
Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles
People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
And "Anything Goes" goes again--have they no other rolls?
G
D A
Some plastic surgeon's done horrible things to poor Jane
E
D A
Making her t'riffically popular--men are insane--
G
D A
"Anything Goes" is the motto, and endless refrain
E
A
D
My dear, it was heaven, until they ran out of champagne.
12. MY HUSBAND'S
PIED-A-TERRE
Am:002210
I know of a groovy place
Am
Dm:x00231
Where every girl of every race,
age, and bra size, and I.Q.
Am
Goes when she feels broke or blue
Am
It's a place more women stay
Am Dm
Than the YWCA
Go there once, you get the key
Am Em:022000
So every girl's been there... but... me...
Am C:032010 F:133211 Em
Where's a minx get minks to wear?
Dm
F
Em Am
Why, my husband's pied-à-terre!
Am
C
F Em
In two drinks, you think she'll care?
Dm
F
Em Am
That's my husband's pied-à-terre
C G:320033 D:x00232
Every alley cat in town
F
C
G D
Knows my husband's flat in town
Better get your derriere
To my husband's pied-à-terre
Love is in the very air
Of my husband's pied-à-terre
I understand the latest fad
'S my husband's bachelor pad
All the classes mingle there
At my husband's pied-à-terre
There is not one single chair
In my husband's pied-à-terre
When I Boeing this loony bin
I am going to do him in
13. I DON'T LIKE YOUR
TONE
INTRO: C:032010 B:113331 C B C B C B
C
D:x00232
You sigh that I should try your love
C
Am:002210
I'll never be alone
C
D
That you are true you coo, my dove,
C
B C B
C B C B
But I don't like your tone
You were, you murmur further, just
a child, but now you're grown
You hiss that this is bliss--not lust--
But I don't like your tone
F:133211 G:320033
What's with all this purring?
C:032010
Are you a cat?
F
Why are we whispering?
G F Em:022000 G
Love's not like that
When near my ear how clear you make
Your so-called feelings known
It's queer, my dear: I fear heartbreak
But I don't like your tone
14. QUICK!
You'd better think of something, quick,
G:320033 D:x00232 A:002220
Before I don't love you no more
G
D A
Quick, before I walk out that door
G
D A
Quick, before it all ends in jeers
G
What a waste of all those beers
You'd better think of something, quick,
Because my suitcase is packed
Quick, because I'm through being attacked
Are you really prepared to lose
All this, just to air your views?
We're on the brink of something
Get me a drink of something, quick,
Between your outrageous remarks
Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
Quick, before you can't take that back
Just before it all goes black
You'd better think of something, quick,
G
D A
Before the midnight bell chimes
G D A
You're living in dangerous times
G D A
Torture me for your amusement
G D A
Ah, but who will pay the rent?
G D A
Who will pay the rent?...
15. ALL SHE CARES ABOUT
IS MARIACHI
G:320033
D:x00232
You want to light your flame in her hibachi
G
Well, brother, I can tell you in advance
D
That all she cares about is mariachi
G
And all she ever wants to do is dance
Go there and wear your hair like Liberace
Go air some freakish fragrance fresh from France
Friend, all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance
So go ahead and hire Saatchi & Saatchi
To advertise the sausage in your pants
But all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance.